A Chronic Entrepreneur: Tami Stackelhouse
Tami Stackelhouse is not only an entrepreneur, but an entrepreneur who embraced her chronic as part of that business. After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Tami reassessed her life and it lead her to start her own business as a Fibromyalgia Coach – helping others living with the illness to live their best lives. Since then she has founded Fibromyalgia Coaching Institute to help others learn how to support those living with the condition, and set up the Sherri Little Foundation which provides scholarships and micro-grants to those who need it to help them gain their accreditation. She is the kid of woman who looks at life full of optimism and hope and her positivity and courage is contagious.
What’s your Chronic?
Fibromyalgia (main diagnosis).
Also: Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, migraines, IBS, depression.
Where were you when you were diagnosed?
2007.
What makes you an Entrepreneur?
I founded the International Fibromyalgia Coaching Institute to train others how to do the work I have pioneered – a combination of life and health coaching with medical education that enables fibromyalgia patients to take back control of their own lives and health. I co-founded the Fibromyalgia-ME/CFS Support Center, Inc., a nonprofit support community, and served as their Vice President from 2011 to 2015. In 2017, I founded the Sherri Little Foundation to provide micro-grants to chronic pain patients.
What came first, the chronic or the entrepreneurism?
I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I’ve been involved in several direct selling companies, such as Mary Kay, since I was in my early 20’s.
How did this path come to you?
It was being diagnosed with fibromyalgia that helped me to find my true calling as a coach. I had a coach who helped me when I was struggling to get well. Becoming a coach allows me to ‘pay it forward’. I also found that I have a particular talent for knowing what to do to manage fibromyalgia in a way that allows you to live the live you want to live. Today, I almost never have body pain and have enough energy to do the things I want to do. I love teaching others how to find this freedom for themselves so that they no longer have to live at the mercy of their doctors, insurance companies, and pharmacies.
What do you wish you’d known before?
I wish I’d realised how much sweeter life would be on this side of things. Being diagnosed with fibromyalgia was the biggest blessing I’ve ever received. I know that is tough for many people to hear. It would have been hard for me to hear at the beginning as well! Having fibromyalgia forced me to take a new look at my life – which led to me creating a life I love and wouldn’t trade for anything! If you’ve been diagnosed with something like fibromyalgia, you are being given this opportunity as well. If you can, take a step back and take a look at your life with fresh eyes. Evaluate what you’re doing and not doing. Are they the things that bring you joy and fulfilment? Are you leaving the world a better place than you found it? Being diagnosed can serve as a wake up call. Life is too short. Spend it on what matters most to you.
Did you go through any sort of 12-stages of grief with the diagnosis or take it in its stride – how did the process manifest itself – did you immediately reassess your life?
I think I did go through some of the stages of grief. I definitely had to figure out who I was with a chronic illness. I couldn’t be the same person doing the same things… but I could – and did – find a new life that is even better. I thank God for my friend fibromyalgia. It is truly the best gift I’ve ever received. Fibromyalgia has helped me learn how to take better care of myself, find my true calling in life, and honestly become a better person. The longer I live with my illness the more gifts I receive from it. I am continually reassessing my life and seeing how I can make a bigger difference in the world.
Did you seek out or join organisations representing your chronic for support or did you find comfort and answers elsewhere – what would you recommend in hindsight?
Yes, joining a support group was so helpful, though I hesitated for many years. I worried that groups would focus too much on the negative, when what I needed was hope! If you’re feeling that way too, I would recommend that you make sure to find a group that is focused on education and being positive. You need to learn all you can about your illness. The more you know, the better you can advocate for yourself and your needs.
I would also find a coach much faster! Working with a health coach was the thing that turned my health around. If I could do it all over again, I would hire a coach the day I was diagnosed. By waiting, I gave up two years of my life that I will never get back.
What would you say to your younger self?
Don’t wait! Life is too short to spend your time doing things you don’t enjoy with people you don’t like. Be bold and courageous! There are people who are waiting for you to share your magic with the world. There are people that only you can help. You will never serve the world by playing it safe and staying small in your shell. Find the people who will help you reach your goals and become the person you want to be. Follow every piece of advice they will give you. Don’t hesitate. It all matters.
How have you changed, if at all in your relationships, decisions, what you value?
It’s not so much that my values have shifted. It’s more that my life is a better reflection of the values I’ve always held. So often I would get caught up in the normal busyness of life. I would let my obligations create my schedule and felt like a slave to my calendar. Today, my calendar serves me – another gift my fibromyalgia has given me. I learned that I had to be purposeful about how I spent my time. Now, I set my work – and play! – hours. I choose when and who I want to work with, and how I do that work. My work is now an expression of service to the people I was made to help. Work has become an act of love, not just a way to pay the bills. It’s important for me to make a difference in the world, especially in the lives of those who are feeling hopeless and lost in their fibromyalgia journey. Most of my decisions revolve around taking care of myself and helping as many people as possible.
What advice do you have for others?
Don’t take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with. As you look around the chronic illness community, there can be a lot of negativity. There’s also a lot of conflicting information – even the experts and researchers don’t agree sometimes! Find someone who has the kind of life you want and find out how they got there. Working with a coach can be a great way to do this.
Learn all you can about your illness and your own body. Learn what makes you feel better – and what makes you feel worse. Practise saying no. Remember that you can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Become your own best friend. Advocate for your needs and become an empowered patient. Don’t settle for doctors who talk down to you, don’t believe you, or treat you with disrespect. Find someone who will stand in your corner and fight with you. Learn to accept your current reality while striving for something better. Never forget that healing is a full-time job.
What is your life philosophy and has this changed?
I’ve always believed that God works everything for our good – and I do mean everything: a house fire when I was little, a tree falling through our house when I was in middle school, my fibromyalgia, my sister’s cancer. Everything. I may not always know why something is happening – but I do know that if I’m open to it, there are always gifts that can be found.
I also believe that ‘it is what it is’. In other words, there are things that I can’t change, so why stress about it? I use cherry blossoms on the covers of my books and in my business logos. In Japanese culture, cherry blossoms symbolise, among other things, the transience of life. They symbolise ‘that this too shall pass’. In Chinese culture, cherry blossoms are a symbol of strength. I try to embrace both aspects.
Are you on any treatments?
I use acupuncture, massage, and chiropractic regularly. I take several supplements, and very few medications. The medications are things I may always need, such as for my autoimmune thyroid condition and my depression. I’m a big fan of low dose naltrexone. Some of the supplements I take address specific imbalances and deficiencies in my biochemistry, such as 5-HTP, vitamins and minerals, and so on. Other supplements address my fibromyalgia directly, such as D-Ribose. I use Botox injections for my chronic migraines (a God-send!). In addition to all of that, I practise a crazy amount of self-care and self-management, which is actually the thing that makes the biggest difference in how I feel.
What is a ‘bad day’ for you?
I almost never have a ‘bad day’ any more. The last fibromyalgia flare I had was many years ago. I do still occasionally get migraines, but they’re nothing like I used to get. When my schedule gets crazy – like when I’m traveling – I can also have a flare up of my depression. Today, a ‘bad day’ generally means I’m a little more tired than usual and my brain is a little slow. If it’s my depression, it may also mean that I want to sleep all day… and maybe move to Siberia to avoid being around people.
What do you do on a ‘bad day’?
I give myself space to do whatever my body wants and/or needs. For instance, I’ll often sleep 11 or 12 hours! I know that I shouldn’t be making important decisions when I’m not feeling 100%, so I give myself extra time and space. I make sure to do all the things that I know are beneficial, such as drinking extra water, eating good food, reducing stress. We can’t control if we have a bad day, but we can control how we respond to it. I just say, it is what it is and move on. I can’t make anything better by stressing out about it.
How do you deal with stress?
I sleep more. On a normal day, I sleep 10 hours a night. When I’m stressed, that amount may increase. I know that this happens, so I adjust my schedule accordingly. I also make sure to take extra stress-helping supplements (like my B vitamins, DLPA, D-Ribose and so on). I look for positive and uplifting things to do, such as meeting with a friend, watching funny movies, listening to inspiring music, taking a hot bath, prayer, even cute cat videos on the internet can be a big help.
Who are your back up dancers?
I have a whole crew that helps to keep me going. In terms of my fibromyalgia, I couldn’t do what I do without my massage therapist, acupuncturist, chiropractor, doctors, friends, and family. I also work with several coaches who help me keep my business, health, and mindset on track. As an entrepreneur, I couldn’t keep going without the other kick-ass business owners and partners I work with. Knowing I have a circle of friends and colleagues I can go to when I need help is priceless. It can be lonely and scary paving the way as an entrepreneur. These men and women keep me grounded and inspired. Most importantly, there is no way I could change the world without the help of my coaches and advisors, the alumni of the International Fibromyalgia Coaching Institute.
Best bits of being a Chronic Entrepreneur?
I have complete control over my life. I get to choose who I work with, where, when, and how. This means that I have fired both clients and vendors. It also means that I never start work before 10am. When my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I didn’t have to ask anyone for time off. I was able to spend as much time with her as I wanted, frequently holding my classes and client calls from her house. In my book, The Fibromyalgia Coach, I talk a lot about this. The freedom you have when you are your own boss is priceless.
Worst bits of being a Chronic Entrepreneur?
It can be scary, lonely, and stressful. You’re in a very vulnerable position because it’s your face and name that’s out there for the world to scrutinise. Sometimes, the world looks at what you say or do and makes incorrect assumptions about you. I’ve always tried to live in a way that if anyone said something bad about me, nobody would believe it. When you are an entrepreneur, it’s like you’re in the spotlight and everyone can see all your flaws, everything is amplified. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t – and everyone discusses it on social media!
Are you a 5-year planner or are you winging it?
I’m a little bit of both. I like to have a plan but I am flexible. I know that the only constant is change. Trying to hold too tightly to a plan only causes more stress. However, I do have dreams and goals. The quickest way to reach those is by putting plans into action, one small step at a time. I don’t need to see the whole path, the whole 5-year plan. I just need to see the next step clearly, then the next, then the next…
Dream weekend plans and have these changed?
My dream weekend is pretty much unchanged: I want to relax with the people I love most in a place that is beautiful and comfy. The only items on the agenda are to eat good food and visit the spa!
Ultimate dinner party guests?
My sister, Debbi, who passed away from gallbladder cancer in June 2016, just shy of her 42nd birthday. All the celebrities and historical figures in the world have nothing on her. She’s the one I’d love to have over for my dinner party.
What next?
I want to change the face of fibromyalgia for patients who are diagnosed. Right now, patients are being told that their lives are essentially over: “There’s no cure. Get used to your new normal.” While we currently have no cure, there ARE loads of things that can be done to help you feel better! My goal is to spread the word that working with a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach or Advisor is an important treatment option for fibromyalgia patients. It can be even more effective than the medications doctors are currently prescribing! I dream of a day when every fibromyalgia patient is offered a coach to guide them through their treatment options and teach them how to live their best life possible. The future I envision is one where fibromyalgia is simply a small bump in the road, not the end of life as you know it.
Where can we find you?
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/fibrocoach
Twitter – https://twitter.com/fibrocoach
Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com.au/fibrocoach/
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