A Chronic Entrepreneur: JL Keez — A Chronic Entrepreneur

JL Keez is a passionate advocate for those experiencing eating disorders, as someone who has experienced one herself. After a 9-year battle with anorexia that started when she was just 15, JL Keez went on to develop chronic fatigue, migraines, depersonalisation, OCD and suicidal depression. Keez describes her journey as one where she continually seesawed between despair and hope due to the frustration and pain that she experienced during her recovery process. Today, JL Keez has recovered from all but the depersonalisation and the odd migraine. For her, joining the entrepreneur world was inevitable. She has used her experiences with anorexia and other associated conditions to build a business JL Keez Anorexia Unlocked, where she is a Certified Reality Therapy Counsellor, Author and Speaker. Read on to learn more about JL Keez’s inspiring story.

What’s your Chronic?

Having experienced 9 years with anorexia nervosa I went on to develop chronic fatigue, migraines, depersonalisation, OCD and suicidal depression.

Today I have recovered from all but the depersonalisation and the odd migraine. Depersonalisation is where I do not feel present on the planet. I am sort of ‘fuzzy’ in the head at all times. Unseen by others, I have lived life with this since my early twenties. I have completed many teaching contracts and now direct my own business. This does not impair my ability to function - it is simply annoying!

The migraines seem to pop up from nowhere and serve as a reminder of the days when life was so much worse. Tiredness is also a part of the deal. Like so many, when this is heavy I work through it.

What’s your diagnosis story? How old were you?

Anorexia nervosa entered my life at age 15. The associated illnesses joined me from age 24. However, it was not until I was 37 years that understanding and a full diagnosis was explained.
I finally met a psychologist who practised Reality Therapy underpinned by Choice Theory. This approach shone a light on why my life had unfolded as it had. It took the question marks and turned each into knowledge, understanding and breakthrough.

What makes you an Entrepreneur?

For me, understanding eating disorders is imperative for recovery. Joining the entrepreneurial world was inevitable! As a response to the encouragement of many who know my story, I took the leap into creating my own business. I took my lived experience and infused this into the programs designed for client recovery. I attended a women’s business seminar, spoke to the presenter regarding my idea, sourced this company for coaching and used Covid-19 to develop and grow the original thoughts into the business currently available.
Setting up JL Keez Anorexia Nervosa meant stepping out of the comfort zone of teaching, yet taking my ability to connect and write meaningful assignments for student learning, into a whole new world where I can connect with people online.
Writing my book expanded my reach to provide understanding as to why eating disorders emerge in the first place. I’ve also been a podcast guest/Writer for some online magazines in Australia, the UK, Canada, San Diego, and New York. Through these platforms, I am able to convey my understanding to many different people.
For me, being a speaker means I can go beyond the internet world into the real world. Here I am able to share so much more. Connecting with people directly allows that personal touch to impact with inspiration.
Entrepreneurs take an idea, grow it, develop it and launch it for others to gain knowledge from.

What’s your frame of mind like at the moment? How have you survived the pandemic?

Due to the life that I have experienced, I have become quite spiritual. As a result, I am a very calm, relaxed person. Nothing much bothers me and I truly trust the process of my unfolding life.

Living in Adelaide, South Australia, we have not really been impacted unduly by the pandemic. The situations across the globe where countries have greatly suffered has been concerning, and I feel for those impacted. We have been so lucky here.

What have you learnt about yourself through this journey? How have you changed, if at all in your relationships, decisions, what you value/ your life philosophy?

Gosh, there is a book in this answer! Transforming from the barely-there individual, living in tremendous fear daily, enduring suffering so debilitating, and sheer uber loneliness, meant a long frustrating recovery process that saw me seesawing from “despair to hope, despair to hope”…
Each pit of despair strengthened me until, in recovery, I emerged with a wealth of understanding, knowledge, and some sadness due to the story that shaped me. I am now a person in control, empowered and ready to live so very differently.

The relationships that I had really reflected where in the recovery journey I was up to. Each one served a purpose to teach me about me. Some left my life out of necessity. Some became strained. I found I needed to find my ‘lane’ - connecting with those with whom I shared common ground. I found that what I valued in connections changed over time.

My decisions, though originally filtered through fear, found me change almost every aspect of my life. Eventually, as I took my life back, I discovered my ‘lane’ and therefore made decisions much more aligned with who I really am. Gosh, decisions for living had a complete overhaul!

My philosophy of life took a rocky road from feeling the pressure to continue living life according to the ideas presented to me in my childhood, to finally finding rest in those well-worn words of, “Everything happens for a reason”, and “Trust the process”. At the core of my recovery, my values and beliefs were deeply challenged. Giving myself permission to alter any of these was scary. Fear of punishment ruled. Gradually I re-aligned this area until, in freedom, I found peace.
The foundation and framework for my life is vastly different today - totally unrecognisable from the withdrawn soul happy to be walked over for acceptance.

I have learnt that I am certainly an extremely strong person, capable of enduring immense suffering, yet determined enough to weather the storms and pull through. I now have so much understanding to share - none of which would exist had I not suffered.

Did you go through any sort of 12-stages of grief with the diagnosis or take it in its stride? In other words, how did the grief process manifest itself – did you immediately reassess your life or was it more gradual?

Grieving did not appear until recently actually. As I travelled the long road toward recovery I accepted each stage as necessary to get to the end.

Every modality that turned up I threw myself into with determination. As a single mum from 36 years old, I had a responsibility to keep life as normal as possible. I played basketball with migraines and attended performances with tears rolling, acknowledging this should have been me.

I did not dwell on the years as they scooted by! I never really grieved until I was older. In the silence of being on my own, and watching my children’s lives unfold, it really hit me just how much I had missed. I had not lived, I had existed where existence had given me an approach of resigned acceptance.

At the age I am now, grieving does emerge at times. I should have been the singer, the athlete, the creative entrepreneur. Mental illnesses take your days and turn them into moments where the light turns on, but then switches off just as quickly. Life becomes a distant memory and one of, “I hope I am at least still here tomorrow”.

But this has been my life - all I can do now is take my acquired learnings and inspire others to not allow life to swallow them up and disappear over too long a time. I give gratitude for what I have achieved, unbelievably, and decide to not dwell on the ‘What-if’s”.

What would you say to your ‘first-diagnosed’ self, or someone else who has just been diagnosed with a chronic illness?

This question reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years ago. With any diagnosis, I now encourage others to look for the reason - what are you to learn, or grow from? Then, ultimately, as you heal, the goal is to discover your peace through listening to that inner child crying out for understanding.
As resolution arrives, do sigh, knowing the road you have taken has delivered a wealth of inspiration, has been challenging, but now you are ready to share with others; what a fabulous gift!

When peace walked through my door

My inner child sighed

That kind of sigh that says

You’re here...at last

Copyright: JL Keez: 2015

Additionally:

Research reputable sources for assistance
Find someone who has lived this life before you - learn from them, HEAR their sugges<ons
UNDERSTAND as much as you can about what is happening for you, and why
Seek assistance immediately - do not allow this diagnosis to go unnoticed - act
Ensure you have credible support, ready to walk the recovery road with you. Make sure they are there for YOU, not themselves and want they may want
Put yourself first, in the driving seat, be determined to recover, but do not let this diagnosis define you - live as normally as you can, do not let the diagnosis become the only focus, it is a sideline to your life
Focus on and give gratitude to what is great about your life each day, as this will lin you to endure, grow in strength and overcome
In all you do, be you ... do not lose the beautiful person you are beneath the diagnosis or comments made by others, who really do not get where you are at!
Visualise you recovered, daily. Keep this foremost in your mind as you work toward it
And where the illness becomes a permanent fixture, in acceptance, turn it into your strength, your friend, guiding your life to discover and experience wonderful moments reflective of the one you simply are, and the one who can be that shining light for those drawn to you...

What is a ‘bad day’ for you? How do you look after yourself on a ‘bad day’ or a day that is particularly stressful?

A bad day is a migraine day. The pain is indescribable - like several axes chopping into my head for two days. I feel sick and very weak. The only thing to be done is endure. I reluctantly take some valium as this is the only preparation that sees me sleep with the pain.

On these days I shut down and completely stop, know it will end, but cry.
When the depersonalisation revs up a gear I use to cry out, “Why?” Now, I do not fight the feeling and get on with it - maybe having to reduce what is achieved that day! It is never spoken about nor given the power to ruin my day.

Regarding stress, I cannot recall the last time I stressed about anything. I see the positive in all that happens, turning seemingly unwelcome events into a learning opportunity. Acknowledging the purpose can be freeing.

Are you on any treatments? What modali<es are in your wellness team?

No treatments at present. I take supplements to enhance my nutritional uptake
I eat healthily at all times. I actually enjoy doing this. I explore new food items and recipes often. As an ex-Home Economics Teacher who taught nutrition, I live by what I taught!
I meditate, practise mindfulness and peacefully trust the process.
Stretching my body is important
Taking time out to simply ‘be’ is time well spent where a body still struggles

Who are your back up dancers?

My daughter and son are my greatest allies.
I also have two wonderful friends and two beautiful cousins who have my back.

Best & worst bits of being A Chronic Entrepreneur?

The best ... imparting my learning and making a difference in the lives of others who put their trust in me.

A worst - being seen from the outside of me only. The part of me which still endures is hidden behind a smile and determina<on to live, regardless. If I attempt to explain what life is really like for me from the inside, understanding is not there. What is not seen, does not exist. This creates confusion at times when I withdraw from engagements, or if I am ‘doing my entrepreneurial thing’ and after trying to explain how difficult that was when it looked effortless. The upside of not trying to explain is that it removes the power the ‘difficult’ can impose, and therefore does not take over and become the focus. This is what living with ‘chronic’ is like for each of us. In the silence we complete tasks, do not complain, and live ‘normally’ - this is our strength - not to be applauded, simply to be quietly acknowledged by ourselves as motivation to keep moving forward.

I guess another ‘worst’ at present is getting my business really flowing. The need to build credibility within the industry takes time, I guess. I would love to be flying right now!

Are you a 5-year planner or are you winging it?

You know, I probably should do the 5-year planning thing - but I do just wing it! Perhaps I will give this some thought...

What are your dream weekend plans and have these changed over the past year?

A dream weekend would be a place in the country, quality snacks, and a nearby spa retreat for massaging and facials.
The simplicity of sleep, watching a great movie and having nothing in particular to do sounds wonderful!

These plans haven’t changed - this has always been on the agenda!

Who are your ultimate dinner party guests, (dead or alive), and who would you seat on either side of you?

Honestly, my children and their partners. I lost so much time to illness - my life moving forward is to enjoy social moments as often as I can over the years to come with these wonderful people.
My children are my most precious gift - in future, we will be joined by grandchildren. It doesn’t get better than that.

What are you looking forward to in the next 6 months-1 year?

Witnessing the growth of my business, recording more podcasts and writing articles. I really look forward to doing more public speaking.
Launching the second version of my book and offering it to bookstores as well as those who may benefit from my words.
Connecting with those who suffer mental illnesses, especially eating disorders, and hopefully providing the solutions they seek to return to a life beyond the suffering.
Connecting with others working in this field. These wonderful souls add to my knowledge and, in sharing a common goal, understand the path I am walking.
Having my daughter and her husband come to live in Adelaide. My daughter left for the stage 18 years ago with a Sydney base. Her return is unexpected but very welcome.
And on the side - having my face reconstructed after having a huge amount of cancer removed!

In closing I share this poem: